5 Rules : The Happiness within.

5 actionable ways on how you can write your own happiness.

I was on a journey, after an incident that happened in my life, which actually gave me a cause to improve myself everyday. I read a lot of books, watched videos, attended lectures and enrolled in webinars to hunt the answers I wanted.

To improve oneself is now considered a market of “Self-Improvement” & “Motivational Commentary” where speakers only talk about theories. But, what I am portraying in this article is not just a theory. I myself have been practising and testing these ‘Rules’ for a couple of years. These are inspired from all the knowledge I gained and all the experiences I had over the years. The secret lies in the Practise. Reading this will give you information, but putting these ‘Rules’ into action will give you experiences and results.

Rule 1 - 5 Seconds : 1 Year

There are many situations which trigger your pain-points but are not worth of your attention. We should try to be more Self-Aware and learn to notice such situations.

“If it doesn’t matter for the next One year, do not waste your next Five seconds on it”

This will allow you to Let Go off things which suck out your energy in exchange for your efforts and (anxiety). Allow yourself to lookout for such situations and feel free to let them go even though you feel like tackling it.

Rule 2 - Reaction Time

Basic Response to Stimuli - A situation acts upon you and you react to it. But, between the Situation’s impact and your Reaction to it, there is a Void of Freedom to Choose your Reaction. This is what I call the ‘Reaction Time’. The ability to act based on your Self-Awareness.

“Take full control of the Reaction Time in your hands, or else it will be used against you”

When you impulsively react to the situation’s impact, you give your control of the Void to that Situation. It will direct your emotions and actions. So next time someone pisses you off, take a moment and think, is it worth your time and effort to be impulsively angry on it & react in a negative way or just Proactively dismay the situation.

Rule 3 - Convert into Positive Actions

We are surrounded by Positive bubbles (Positive things) as well as Negative bubbles (Negative things). With Self-Consciousness you should learn the skill to effectively convert all your actions in response to any of these bubbles into Positive Actions.

“Always try to convert the Positive and Negative bubbles into Positive Actions”

This doesn’t mean you should ignore the Negative things. Accept negative thoughts, acknowledge negative situations, feel negative emotions, but try to convert your ‘Reaction Time’ void into Positive Actions.

• eg.) Negative Emotion - Anger. Learn to tackle and divert your anger into Assertiveness, by setting boundaries. Here your Self-Confidence plays a major role.

But, sometimes when people consciously opt for Negative Actions, like, reacting to Anger with Violence, they tend to convert even Positive things happening to them into Negative Actions.

• eg.) Love or Care, which is a Positive emotion, people start to portray it with controlling and possessive behaviours, which is a Negative action.

Rule 4 - Power of a Thought

You have no control over the thoughts that come to your mind. But you do have complete control on how to react and handle these thoughts. Every thought that comes to your mind reflects on your Subconscious mind.

“The Impactful Power of a Thought is determined by the amount of time you spend on thinking about it”

It all starts with an Impulse. These Impulses gives you a Thought about it. If you focus on it more and more, the Thought starts to become a Belief. Once you start Believing it, slowly it tends to become your Habit. And that’s how your Habit influence’s your Behaviour. Which at the end shapes your Personality. This is the Power of a Thought. You should develop handy skills to acknowledge and let go the Unhealthy thoughts and focus on Healthy thoughts.

A thought changes your mood accordingly. It affects and impacts your Emotions. A thought can destruct and construct your Emotions. These Emotions then influence and guide your Actions. Your Actions ultimately determine your Personality. Therefore, you should learn to acknowledge which Thoughts to focus on and which to Let Go off. The more you think about a particular Thought, the more Power you give it to that Thought.

Rule 5 - Circle of Influence

This one changed my perception on life. This ‘Rule’ is taken from the book ‘The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People - Stephen Covey’. Let me take you through this. Draw a circle in your mind and write all the things you care about in life inside that circle. This is your Circle of Concern. All the things you are Concerned about. In this circle mark all the things about which you can actually do something. The things which are in your control of action. This is your Circle of Influence. All the things you can have an Influence over.

“Always, only work on whatever is in Your Control , in any situation”

Put all your 100% efforts into the things that you have control over. Things which are not in your control, accept them as they are, but do not put your efforts to work them out because it won’t work, moreover it will tense you out. Working only on your Circle of Influence, on things that you have total control on, can actually increase your Circle of Influence and add new things from your Circle of Concern. Let me give an example,

• You care about rising crime in your country but cannot do anything about it at the moment. This is now, in your Circle of Concern. The only thing in your control is how you can work and put yourself in the position of actually fighting crime. Like, preparing for Police Examinations. This is how you can increase your Circle of Influence by only focussing on it particularly.

You should have dreams, visions and ambitions in your mind. But do not attach yourself to the outcome. Put all your efforts in the Process of achieving your dream. Try not to mentally chase anything. If you are chasing, that means it is already running away from you. Rather concentrate on the Present and on the Process, (the thing you are chasing may start chasing you.)

Conclusion

These ‘Rules’ are easy to understand but take a while to actually implement in day-to-day life. But do put it into practise. I have said ‘it is a Skill or learn the Skill’ a lot of times in between, because anything that I stated above is learnable by any person.

Some of these techniques, if you may call it that, need you to be more Self-Aware, more Self-Confident and more Authentic. If you feel, you are not into that alignment, try Meditation. The best way to improve yourself.

Hope you enjoyed the read.

Cheers :)